I had no idea what to write about this week.
A couple of my favorite things in the world are writing and pro wrestling. Hence, this platform and the job I’ve been privileged to do for the last decade. This week, the computer felt like a contagious virus. I wanted distance. A lot of it.
What the hell do you say about about a week like this?
PAC wrestled in the opening contest of the AEW All Out PPV event on Saturday night. By Sunday night, he was gone. PAC died in his car while in a restaurant parking lot near Chicago and near the site of what was his final match.
The week in wrestling was rightfully all about that. About PAC. Celebrating his life, remembering his spirit, mourning the loss, and finding a way to pick up the pieces to start moving forward again.
There were moments where I smiled while playing a small role in that. The AEW Dynamite episode this week that was a tribute to PAC and his life was beautiful. Tony Khan and his team struck a perfect tone and delivered a show that the moment deserved. Memorable PAC moves and callbacks in matches throughout the night were pleasant to watch, the video clips of his career were a nice stroll down memory lane, and hearing various stars in AEW and friends of PAC speak about him was heartbreaking, but shined a bright light on the type of man that PAC was.
The smiles were there. The tears were too. Sadness in abundance.
That’s an emotion that hasn’t escaped me in the last six days. Even inside of the smiles. Behind them was welled up eyes ready to burst.
So, again, what the hell do you write about? His career?
I sat back a couple times this week and was able to reminisce about PAC’s wrestling career. As I detailed on the podcast this week, I first saw PAC wrestle inside the halls of the infamous Excalibur nightclub in Chicago. He could barely stand on the top rope for his Black Arrow finisher without hitting his head on the balcony above him. I knew it right then. PAC was way too big for that scene.
PAC had a decorated career. He had an influential career. The style that fills up Raw, SmackDown, Dynamite, and other wrestling shows around the world was rooted in the stuff that he helped make regular. PAC forever has a place in pro wrestling lore because of that influence.
And there comes that emotion again … sadness. I can’t think long enough about his career to write something worthy of it without just saying fuck a few times.
It’s just so, so, sad. And maybe that’s all that should be written. PAC was 40 years old. He had a wife, family, and friends. He was a professional, an artist, an athlete. The guy had a full life in front of him. Tragic only begins to describe his passing.
Pro wrestling is a gorgeous art that has had a sick underbelly. The numbers don’t lie. Pro wrestlers over the decades have died young at a higher clip than the regular population and the majority of athletes in other professional sports. Maybe part of the sadness comes from the fact that the pro wrestling underbelly had been hidden for a bit? The business turned a corner over the last five years. Wrestlers are on the road less than ever before. They are given time off. Were we lured into a false sense of security?
I think so. That’s part of the intense sting here. Another part is that it’s very difficult to find a takeaway from this. PAC’s death was unfair. Unreasonable. I like to look for answers and there aren’t any. That sucks.
Without anything to write about wrestling, this all came out instead. Sometimes that’s the way it goes. I didn’t know PAC, but in hearing all the wonderful things his peers said about him, I think this is what he would have suggested I do.
It’s about to be the weekend and it’s filled with kid stuff, games, practices, family hangouts, football, and yes, pro wrestling. Lots of that. I’m going to be present inside of it all. I’m going to soak it in. I’m going to be grateful and stocked up with intent.
Are you with me?
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Follow Zack Heydorn on Bluesky @zackheydorn.bsky.social.