I’m not a New York Knicks fan. Nobody should be. They’re the Knicks. Boo.
With that stipulated to, I’m happy to inform the world that the Danhausen and New York Knicks curse saga has been appointment viewing on whatever one of the platforms it’s going viral on. Who would have thought?
The gross Knicks
My Knicks hatred stems from being a Chicago Bulls fans in the 90s. Yes, I live in Chicago and was a fan of THOSE Bulls teams. Jordan, Pippen, etc. Fans of that team have to dislike the Knicks. It’s a right of passage. Ewing? Starks? Gross. Just puked a little bit.
So, when Danhausen cursed the Knicks, I grinned ear to ear. Like the Grinch stealing Christmas.
All was right in the world. The Knicks lost, Danhausen laughed, and Chicago Bulls fans rejoiced. What happened?
Stephen A. Smith happened. He appeased the Danhausen list of demands, which prompted Danhausen to lift his curse from the team. The Knicks haven’t lost a game since.
That’s right, they’ve won 12 straight games in total and seven straight games on the road. Both of those streaks are tied for second longest in the history of the NBA Playoffs. Oh, the Knicks are also two wins away from their first NBA Championship in 53 years.
You’d think this would all be nauseating and it would be if it wasn’t such a damn blast.
Mainstream Danhausen
Seeing Danhausen pop up on various ESPN shows to gloat and debate hosts like Smith and others is a fun gimmick that blends together pro wrestling and the NBA — both things I enjoy.
Danhausen is a gimmick more than he is a pro wrestler and that’s the brilliance of his bit. He fits WWE like glove in this exact role. Nobody else on the WWE roster can crossover the way he has and “make and impact” the way he has. The quotation marks mean something.
Obviously, Danhausen hasn’t actually cursed or lifted a curse on the New York Knicks or anything else. Like the character itself, that’s ridiculous. Impossible. Curses aren’t real. Blah blah blah. I get it, but just have some fun already.
Yes, ESPN is obnoxious with their NBA coverage and “reporting.” Those quotation marks also mean something.
WWE? Obnoxious in places. Don’t be surprised if Danhausen is sponsored by one of their key corporate partners when he appears as a guest of the Knicks at game three of the NBA Finals inside Madison Square Garden on Monday night.
You can roll your eyes at all of it. It’s a little cheesy, but sometimes a little cheese is just what everyone needs. If you can’t get behind this kind of ridiculousness now, when can you?
Go Knicks?
To all the Knicks fans out there, we’re with you. It pains me to say, but I’m with you. Not cheering for you or your ugly bright blue and orange team, but the curse. The Danhausen Curse.
If the Knicks win the NBA Finals, the curse will forever mean something and that’s a world we should all want to live in.
What other sports teams should Danhausen curse? Let us know in the comments!
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Follow Zack Heydorn on Bluesky @zackheydorn.bsky.social.